Rant for the Unrequited

The longing tears you apart like glass. It works its way into you until you can’t breathe and your very muscles ache with what you can’t have. The loneliness seeps into your skin like dampness until you shiver and shake. The arms that should be around you but aren’t, you feel them like a burn that makes you want to scream and tear your hair – but what can you do? They tell you “you can do anything you want”, but it’s a lie. You can’t force other people to want you, to love you, to be there for you when all you want to do is hold them. Other people are not tasks, they’re not goals. You’re just stuck wanting them. How can so much pain not leave visible scars? It should. It should make you bleed from the eyes and the ears and leave gaping holes in your chest and gut – since that’s where you feel it the most. But to look at you, no one would know that you’re plagued by this pain. That the fingers of desire keep niggling in your brain until you can’t focus on anything else. So why do we do this to ourselves? Why bother with the pain when we could shut ourselves off and be safe from it? The horrible truth is that we do it because it feels good. Because despite all of the hurt, and despair, and clumps of hair being pulled out, there’s a sense of euphoria that it COULD happen. The hope that drives us that the possibility is out there, all that’s waiting is the opportunity. Because all you need is that one moment – that right moment that changes your life and turns it from something black and dreary and full of echoes of your own heart bleeding – into something beautiful and whole.

One comment

  1. Ahh! Yep I’m there, tearing my hair out (or in my case I think it’s twirling my hair and a frown like I’m trying to figure something out..), but yep that’s all true.

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