Thank you to the ever fabulous Keri Lake for including me on the latest blogging game. I can’t say what was more fun: answering Keri’s hilarious questions, or coming up with my own. As per the rules of said game, I must answer the questions, come up with 11 of my own, and then tag 11 bloggers to answer them.
1. Your day has been riddled with one crappy event after the next, starting with the mounds of laundry your lazy-ass stepmom & sisters left for you, and ending with a phone call from prince charming that he’s canceling dinner plans…for the fifth time in a row. It’s enough to make you cry. In the thick of your pity party, a petite woman, looking like she’s had one too many face lifts, appears claiming to be your fairy godmother. Figuring you’ve had a day from hell, she offers to let you have 1 day as the MC in any book of your choice. What character and book would you choose to cast yourself in for a day?
Valancy Stirling from LM Montgomery’s The Blue Castle. After she leaves her oppressive family to go out on her own, of course. That woman knew how to live.
2. You decide to have a little fun and enter yourself in the Paranormal Dating Game show coming to town. Here are the three bachelors you have to choose from:
Bachelor #1 is a brawny guy who loves the outdoors. His favorite pastime is snuggling beside a campfire and running naked through the woods on a full-moon. He’s looking for an adventurous girl who doesn’t mind a bit of shedding from time to time. An incredibly loyal companion who loves a good petting.
Bachelor #2 is a lean and charming guy who lives for the night life. You’ll never have to slave over a hot stove for this one, his diet is simple. He volunteers regularly at the local Red Cross and is looking for a woman who won’t blow a gasket when it comes to sleeping in a casket.
Bachelor #3 is smokin’ hot and will show you one hell of a good time on the town. One night with him and you’ll sell your soul for more! He bakes a sinfully good lasagna and is looking for a sexy little angel who’s not opposed to relocating to a warm climate.
Who’s it gonna be??
As good as that lasagna sounds, I think I’m going to have to go with Bacherlor #2. I like my men suave and pale. Fangs don’t hurt either. At least, not in a bad way.
3. As an added bonus, the game show offers you an all-expense paid date to anywhere you’d like (I did say all-expense paid…feel free to book a flight). Where will you go with your smexy bachelor and what will you do?
Since sunny beaches are out of the question (I hate the sun, and he’s probably not a big fan either), I’d head straight to Ireland.
4. You take a once-in-a-lifetime cruise across the globe. And wouldn’t ya know it? The damn boat sinks and you’re left stranded on a deserted island. An enormous travel chest washes up on shore and you recognize it as the one that belonged to the old rich lady with the yapping Pomeranian who boarded in front of you at the port. You open it and gasp. What’s inside?
All the books I’ve been wanting to read and haven’t had the time for. And a bottle of water. And a parasol to keep that blasted sun away.
5. You’re given the opportunity to go back in time and redo any embarrassing moment in your life (without the consequence of affecting major events like marriage and birth). What moment would you go back and change?
Thirty-six ago when I made a boo-boo at work? I embarrass myself on a regular basis, it would be hard to choose…
6. In an effort to reduce obesity in the country, the government has decided to ban all junk food and candy from being sold in stores except for ONE single item to be voted on. What junk food would you vote to keep?
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Didn’t even hesitate on that one.
7. Your spaceship, that’s been wandering black holes for God knows how long, finally lands on a strange planet in the middle of some undiscovered galaxy. It’s a gorgeous landscape that makes Earth’s paradises look like post-apocalyptic disasters. Waterfalls, tropical breezes and sexy alien clones that think you’re their long-awaited gift from the gods. Funny, they all look strangely like a famous actor you’ve seen before…who?
My Hollywood crush? Much too personal a question. To answer, I will say Johnny Depp. Would not mind that one little bit.
8. If you could sit and collaborate with any famous author from any time period, who would you pick?
I’d like to say Shakespeare, but I think we’d argue too much. I’ll go with Jane Austen. We’d sit and laugh and be cynical about the world together.
9. The world is struck by some unseen force that manages to wipe out the internet for the day. What would you do to keep yourself from going insane?
After celebrating that my leash has been struck from the ever-absorbing world that is the web? Read.
10. Your slave-driving boss just claimed your last weekend off with a Monday deadline for a major project. Because you’re a writer, you decide to vent the only way you know how…you type up a nasty email to your BFF about all the twenty ways you hope he kicks the bucket over the weekend. But instead of selecting ‘Frannie’ from your list of contacts, you accidentally select ‘Frank’…your boss. Do you fess up right away and chalk it up to a brief moment of insanity? Or do you pack up your desktop pictures and decide not to come in on Monday?
Both? I’d be obligated to go and apologise and try to explain, but probably too embarrassed to ever show my face there again. OR, I could make use of question 5 and have it never happen….
11. If you were paid big money to do nothing but follow your favorite band around on tour, what band would you follow?
Florence and the Machine. I’d never lack for inspiration.
1) That band you’ve been in love with for most of your life, that broke up and left you devastated is getting back together for a reunion tour. You stand out on the street in sluggish heat with a thousand other people, waiting in line to get your tickets. After three hours, you’re still well down the line and the manager of the box office comes out to announce there are only 10 tickets left. What do you do?
2) Your birthday is coming up! You’re more excited about this one than you have about the last five and you want a celebration to remember. Because of how completely awesome you are, a wealthy relative you didn’t know you have gives you a blank cheque to throw yourself the bestest themed party ever. Question is: what theme do you pick?
3) Your friend convinces you to go to a Saturday night séance. You can think of a million other things you’d rather do, but since you still owe her for going to that terrible movie last month, you decide to grin and bear it. Half-way through, the medium’s voice moves out of its false “trance”, into something real, and suddenly you’re communing with your favourite-now-passed-on author. You have time to ask one question. What do you ask?
5) The opportunity has come up to be an extra in a movie. It’s the middle of winter and there are a lot of outside shots, but it’s totally worth it because of what movie it is. What movie is it?
6) You are on the starship Enterprise, and get to play around on the Holodeck. Set the scene.
7) You wake up one morning, but you’re not in your bed. You’re not in your house. In fact, you have no idea where you are. It doesn’t feel like you should panic, so you get up and start exploring. Soon, you bump into a complete stranger. After a few minutes of asking questions, you realise that somehow you’ve woken up in your favourite book! Which book and which character have you just met?
8) You’re ruler of the world for a day. What law do you impose/remove?
9) In the middle of the night your fire alarm goes off. It’s probably just a test or a false alarm because the neighbour burned his toast again, but it’s late and you don’t want to take that chance. What’s the one thing you grab before you bolt?
10) You’re walking down the street when the newsboy on the corner shouts “Extra! Extra! Read all about it – E-Readers have been discontinued!” How do you react?